Rule 23

No, you are right, the guy booking the show doesn't care about art.

Rule 22

Don't bore us, get to the chorus.

(A classic from Nashville.)

Rule 21

A few lessons never hurt anyone.

Rule 20

Less eyeliner, more practice.

(Stole this from Rock and Roll Confidential's Hall of Douche Bags. Check it out)

Rule 19

Your day job is not as bad as you think it is.

Rule 18

Justin Timberlake is more talented than you are.

Rule 17

It's going to take longer than you think.

Rule 16

If you can't get on or off the stage in less than 20 minutes - you have too much stuff.

Rule 15

Turn down.

Rule 14

Buy a tuner.

(This is like going on medication, it's something you do not for yourself, but for those around you.)

Rule 13

Pro gear, pro attitude.

Rule 12

Here are 4 chords, never use more than 3 in any one song.

(Stole this from Mudhoney)

Rule 11

Less talk, more rock.

Rule 10

No one cares.

(Probably should be Rule 1)

Rule 9

No one gets on the guest list unless they are sleeping with a member of the band.

Rule 8

No shorts on stage (drummers are exmpt form this one).

Rule 7

No clothes with skulls or flames on stage.

Rule 6

No sandals on stage.

Rule 5

No shaving the day of a show.

Rule 4

No drinks on the amps.

Rule 2

No girlfriends or boyfriends in the van.

Rule 3

If you fart in the van, crack a window.

Rule 1

No talking in the van.